His Peace

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 6-7 NIV)

As the jet roared down the runway, I gripped the blue vinyl armrest of my airplane seat and struggled to control my breathing. When the airplane prepared to soar, my panic attack did the same. The words, “I can’t do it,” repeated over-and-over in my mind as I tried to calm my shaking body. For the next two hours, I fought the hand-sweating, mind-electrifying panic second-by-second. At the end of the flight, I walked down the hangar feeling limp, depressed, and exhausted. How could I survive a flight again?

A year later, as soon as I booked the same flight home, I dreaded it. I felt incapable of handling the mental pressure without cracking. The problem was, I could keep the panic at bay for a few minutes, but the flight was two and one-half hours long. If only I could focus on God the whole time. After all, God says, “Fear Not.” Praying brought me peace, but panic constantly wormed its way into my mind and destroyed my peace.

The night before we left, in the middle of my imagining the worst airplane flight ever, and a desperate prayer for help, God focused a spot light on my delirious thinking. I was worried and anxious because I didn’t think I could focus on God. It was still all about me and my strength, my focus, my ability. God told me to rely on Him for my food, my children’s well being, and yes even my faith and my ability to concentrate on Him. “Yes, Dear God, keep my mind on You. You know I can’t do it, but You can.”

I’d like to say that after I prayed all the fear evaporated instantly, but even Abraham waited for his prayer to be answered. Flight day, the anticipation was miserable. I walked down the tin can tunnels, through the doors, past seat after seat of people packed in like sardines. Would God come through for me? I quickly said a prayer that mimicked the father who brought his demon possessed son to Jesus, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24 NIV) We taxied to our take off; the engine roared; we raced down the track. The airplane lifted and the wheels pulled up. Where were the racing thoughts, the closed in feelings, the panic? It had vanished. In their place, for the whole two and one-half hours, God kept me focused on Him.

That day God taught me to rely on Him for everything, even my faith in him.

And that day, God replaced my armrest-gripping, claustrophobic panic with His dependable glorious Peace.

Dear God, help me to rely on You for everything, even my faith and focus.